Dealing with conflict

The problem

It is almost never about what it is about

Conflicts hardly ever come from ill will. They come from (at least) two people reading the same situation completely differently, each of them certain they are right. Add to that the matter of personality types and of basic social needs. At the same time, we are all working under a density that makes it unlikely we will ever catch our breath or look at things from above. What follows is familiar to everyone: we get louder, or conspicuously matter-of-fact, we dodge, we wait it out. And at some point it is only about the relationship, and every email becomes evidence.

What you take away

Able to act, even under pressure

• Early recognition – naming conflicts while they are still small.
• A feel for the other person – understanding why someone reacts the way they do, and adjusting your words and the emotional message accordingly, instead of reaching for the same script every time or falling back on "let's stick to the facts".
• Handling objections – not arguing resistance away, but using it as information. Behind every objection there is a completely legitimate need.
• Staying articulate under pressure – techniques that work even when the right answer would otherwise only occur to you on the way home.
• Quick responses, with respect – countering with composure, without putting the other person offside. You still have to work together tomorrow.
• Clear on the matter, appreciative in the relationship – we train how to do both at once.

Two days

First the craft, then the rehearsal stage

Day 1 – The craft

We start with what happens in conflict in theory, adapted to your actual working life and your own cases. We look at the different personality types and the patterns conflicts follow, because people argue in very different ways: some get louder, others go quiet, others again stay matter-of-fact to the point of being unbearable. Participants get to know the typical patterns, recognise their own triggers and develop strategies that fit the people they are actually dealing with. Then comes the toolkit: handling objections, improvisation techniques from the theatre, and concrete techniques for the seconds when the words would otherwise fail you.

Day 2 – The rehearsal stage

Now the actors come in. And your real cases: the client who escalates every week. The relative at the bedside who turns aggressive out of worry for her father. The colleague from the next department with whom nothing has been resolved for a long time. We gather these situations beforehand and play them through – realistically, with the intensity turned up or down as needed. Scenes can be stopped, rewound and played differently. A luxury everyday working life does not offer. The group develops alternatives, sides are swapped, and the feedback comes from three perspectives: from the group, from the trainer, and from the actor who played the other person.

Method

Scene work with professional actors

Anyone can talk about conflict, and there are endless books, podcasts and other sources explaining conflict management in theory. Setting up role plays among colleagues is a good idea and better than nothing, but it usually founders on three things. Either everyone stays polite, because you will see each other again tomorrow. Or it suddenly gets too serious. And of course it is extremely hard for non-actors to play the same role through in different versions. Our professional actors solve exactly that. They are credible enough for it to feel real, and outside enough that no one is taking a risk. They can turn the pressure up or down, play the same scene five different ways, and afterwards describe precisely what a particular phrasing set off in the person across from you. That kind of feedback is something you never get at work – and it stays with you.

Who it is for

For everyone who has to deal with conflict

This training is an in-house format for conflicts that run inside the organisation, outside it, or both. For example:

• Leaders who have to moderate conflicts within their team, resolve them among peers, or manage them upwards and downwards
• Consultants in difficult client relationships – caught between standards, budget and expectations
• Architects and planners mediating between clients, authorities and contractors
• Medical and nursing staff dealing with patients, relatives and colleagues – often under time pressure and in emotionally charged situations
• Project leads in matrix structures who carry the responsibility but have no authority to instruct
• Sales and customer service, where the anger arrives first

What you bring are your own real situations from working life – ideally the ones you would rather forget. No prior knowledge and no acting experience required: this is not about performing, it is about working on your own role, in your own words.

The setup

At a glance

• Duration: 2 days, on site
• Group size: 8–12 participants
• Format: in-house, focused on your specific change project
• Team: trainer and professional actor
• Result: sharper judgement and greater self-awareness, tested strategies for your own cases, and a personal repertoire of phrasings and techniques for handling objections and thinking on your feet
• We recommend: a follow-up session after 6–8 weeks, once you have put it into practice at work
• For lasting individual impact: one-to-one coaching afterwards